Nine Months with Marcela – More Lessons In Adoption
In just a few days we will have had our precious Marcela in our lives for nine months. The many months leading up to our adoption of Marcela from Colombia were its own journey. And the post-adoption journey is awesome, wonderful, frustrating, scary and so much more in and of itself. So nine months in here is what I have discovered…
- Marcela was made for our family. She fits like a glove and it is obvious to Julie and I that God prepared her uniquely to be a Crawford.
- Kids are kids. Marcela is NO different than any other nine-year-old girl. She laughs, she cries, she argues (boy her this little Latino can let it rip at times), she plays tricks on us, she loves movies, and donuts, she asks lots of questions, etc. She is basically just like any other kid I know, which is amazing to me. It just reminds me that in the same way that kids are kids, people are people, no matter the language, culture, or background.
- My wife is amazing. I knew she was a good mother, but man has she taken her game to a whole new level. She leads the way in language learning, math skills (we were behind in this area), therapy sessions, and really just the constant attention that a new child to the family needs. It’s been all consuming and my wife, Julie, has shined.
- The paper work never ends. Well, at least it seems that way. Post-placement visits, re-finalization of the adoption, applying for a Social Security card, creating health records, enrolling in school, and the unique issues of adoption as it relates to the IRS and taxes. It all equals paperwork!
- It is really interesting being a multi-racial family at times. Between each of us, in La Familia de Crawford, there is no color. I have to really stop and make myself think about it to remember that I am white and she is brown. But when we travel around town it’s not always that way. I can see it on the looks of people’s faces. We will be out eating pizza as a family and I will find myself wondering, “Why is that couple over there staring at us?” Then I remember! And people often times give away their position on the matter. I’ve seen admiration in the eyes of people, happiness, confusion (they just can’t figure out what’s going on), and yes, even prejudice. Marcela is clueless in regard to the latter, but Julie and I get it, and what rises up in us is nothing short of instinctual parental protection for our child.
- I get, more than ever, the love of God for us as adopted children. Can you love an adopted child as much as you love a biological child? The question now just makes me laugh. That it even is a question seems silly to me now. I am the proud father of four children. Four children that God brought to me, not all in the same way, but brought to me none the less.
And that is how I love my children, no matter how they came to me….none the less.